I wouldn't call it an attention defecit disorder (I have a feeling I spelled that wrong), but anyways I just have a problem staying focused, or I can stay focused for only so long before I become disinterested and need to move on to another activity. My ability to stay focused has become more apparent to me and it is a combination for disaster whenever I am disorganized. Example 1, in my employment when I was younger I could only commit to one year at a job before moving on, just because I needed something new. During my stay at the job I would always be engaged in other extracurricular or academic activities. In my profession I sometimes question how long. I love it, it is new interesting and allows me to demonstrate creativity, but at the same time I have other passions that I also want to actively explore, because I do this I realize that I am just putting in mediocre effort. My friends and family tell me to focus on one thing at a time and master it before moving onto another, but I am afraid I will run out of time. I am not getting any younger and Jesus sometimes I think it could take me forever to master something and during that forever I could have just learned other activities, but not at a mastery level. Well, this week I was seriously considering purchasing another instrument because I wanted to revive my old passion for playing it. However seeing that I have two other instruments that I am learning and I am still at somewhat of a beginner, a little higher than a beginners level and I still need to learn how to read music notes, I think I will have to suck up my wants, stay focus and say no to buying that instrument. I will invest my time to learning the piano well and improving my techniques and chord understanding on the guitar. As a treat, in 6 months time, then, maybe I can get the other instrument :) or not :( Reaching a level of mastery may take forever, but regardless Jesus I love you and want to serve you the right way.
So, now I have been thinking about a media fast, no tv, social websites, only two websites oneplace.com and blogger NOT even search engines...ah I will try this one day first, then gradually extend it longer and longer. Do you think I can do this? Also, I really want to do a cash fast? Does that make any sense, I just made it up...I would spend cash wisely and perhaps do a mini bible study on the importance of being wise with money and a cheerful giver, because sometimes I think I am a bit selfish and groan when I have to spend money on or activities or events that don't personally fit my agenda...Sometimes I think I try to bargain too much not realizing that if I bargain with wrong intentions (to get way less) or knowing that the person is willing to take anything so I try to benefit from the bargain as much as possible instead of being fair, then God is not happy with me. Jesus please help me to be more like you. I love you and although I have alot more to write about this is good enough for tonight. Jesus I love you and you are my one desire.
