Dear Jesus: I am having a bad day

I am sitting on my bed stuffing my face with oreo cookies, I just finished eating a cream cheese bagel and I bought two strawberry ice cream bars for later....I am having a bad day. At first, I did take out my bible and I read a scripture, but I don`t even know which scripture it was now. I also asked YOU Lord to just help me. It feels like I am going around in circles and I don`t think I am actually accomplishing much for YOU. Anyways I will be attending a new church now during my stay here and I also hope to attend some small groups. I wanted to go shopping today or just walking and mirror shopping just to get things off my mind. I didn`t feel like journaling or grabbing my camera to take photos...Ahhh Jesus even though I feel this way I love you all the more. To know that there is hope and my hope is in YOU is refreshing because I don`t know what I would do or how I could begin to get the smallest peace of mind without YOU.

So my dilemma now is I have begun to care about what others think, I guess. Although it is not a major impact that drives my actions it does concern me a little. I also have to deal with diverse personalities at my place of work of which some have a `different mentality`of life and people altogether.

Second, although I won`t get too specific. I guess I have been fearful (not really fearful), but lacking confidence in other areas of my life where I would like to excel. Also, I have begun to dedicate more time to myself and skill that I haven`t really focused on YOU. It is as if I am busy preparing myself for minisries, looking ahead into the future of what could be, but not really renewing my mind daily with YOUR word and living one day at a time.

Also, I think if you could open my heart and see it, maybe you would see much desire and dedication, fearlessness of certain things in life, fearfulness, a waving dedication to serve YOU, much indecisiveness at times, and maybe a little selfishness (I need to work on this), although there is love I want love not only for those close to me, but for everyone, I want more courage, I want WISDOM and I need a bit of forgiveness. Life is so difficult and sometimes it can feel like I am going in circles.

I am going to go eat some more oreos now. :(