It has been awhile since I've posted. I've been quite busy with work and there have been some storms. I have learned that taking my eyes off God and resting it on my problem can literally suck the life out of you. It is only a matter of time before you become weak and running back to the source of life. I went to church for the first time in a few weeks. I had been so consumed with work and doing a good job that I had invested days and nights into doing my best to prepare for my learners. The demand coupled with commuting for long hours proved to be too much for me and within the first two months, I threw in the towel and found myself physically tired, energy drained and saying "now what?" With no backup plan here I am again crawling back to Jesus. literally baby steps. A man once said if you don't learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it. I question this cycle of losing focus and wanting to do things in my own strength. I reminisce on my faith journey and those days where nothing else mattered just to be close to God and to follow after his heartbeat and now I am stuck in thinking about what I can get out of life, a somewhat selfish mentality. Lord bring me back to your heartbeat and strip all selfishness from my hands. I have so much to think about and pray about. I want to use those gifts which you have given me and I want my goals to be pleasing to you. Give me wisdom and restore my sense of worth and confidence by looking at this world and life through your eyes/perspective. Teach me!
