I ask myself about life

and how much longer Lord do I have to fight the good fight of faith.. Yes, life is great at times and at times it is difficult to maneuver, but I find strength in Christ to never give up. Sometimes I am tired of the same routines down here on earth and knowing that God spare my life that there as long as I am on this earth there are still more trials to overcome. I question myself at times how good of a witness am I for you? Especially during those times (which feels like often) where I get so caught up in my own interests I oversee the hurting all around me. Sometimes I give into stubborness that I miss opportunities to hurt so that others can heal and find peace in you. I can't wait for what heaven will be like, no more mistakes, perfected, not worrying about hurting others and You Lord, but only always getting things right from there on. My prayer is for someone who feels unwanted and my untimely comments probably didn't make this person feel anymore special. This person has made mistakes which some people would deem unforgiveable, but Lord I so just want this person to know that You still love and cherish this person and there is nothing that this person has done that you will not forgive when they put their faith in you. It is so simple! But why Lord do I have trouble letting them know this and particularly this person. Lord give me strength and always remind me that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord, but fearing you in reverence. I love you and I won't give up, no matter how  difficult this life might be at times. Lord remind me also that you won't let me go and even when I'm blinded to your love and feel at my worse Lord let your presence hover over me and may I just rest in your peace. Dear God, I know I haven't said this much these past few months, but I really love you! Please help me find someone who will try to out beat me in loving you. Amen !

I'm falling

because I haven't been in daily communication with you, constant communication with you. Lord, please help me to get back on track, I still have some time left to win souls, but how can I if I mingle with the affairs of the world. Constantly renew my mind as I read your word. I need to stay focus. Lord help me forget about the worries and temporary pleasures of this world and help me to constantly renew myself in your word. My identity is in You. Lord have your way in me. 

Fighting to move forward

Sometimes I feel like I can just scream! Yet deep down inside when it feels like no one is there, I still hold onto that string of hope and peace that is found in knowing you. I have been quite rebellious these past few months Lord and wanting to  do things in my own strength and rely on my own understanding for everything. As I am getting older, I noticed that I've been getting a bit anxious for certain things. Why? I've lost focused on my heavenly mission and all I need is to get closer to you. 

These past few months, I've been losing the battle. Too focused on what others have been thinking about me...I lost sight of the fact that only what You think of me Lord matters. The enemy tries to discourage me by replaying my faults and missed opportunities to share the Gospel with others and I feel at times another soul remains lost because I failed to show them You Lord. 

Help my stubborness! Direct my energy and thoughts on You and you only and help me to forgive and love my enemies. It's difficult and even impossible to do in my own strength, but I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

I love you Lord :)