Fighting to move forward

Sometimes I feel like I can just scream! Yet deep down inside when it feels like no one is there, I still hold onto that string of hope and peace that is found in knowing you. I have been quite rebellious these past few months Lord and wanting to  do things in my own strength and rely on my own understanding for everything. As I am getting older, I noticed that I've been getting a bit anxious for certain things. Why? I've lost focused on my heavenly mission and all I need is to get closer to you. 

These past few months, I've been losing the battle. Too focused on what others have been thinking about me...I lost sight of the fact that only what You think of me Lord matters. The enemy tries to discourage me by replaying my faults and missed opportunities to share the Gospel with others and I feel at times another soul remains lost because I failed to show them You Lord. 

Help my stubborness! Direct my energy and thoughts on You and you only and help me to forgive and love my enemies. It's difficult and even impossible to do in my own strength, but I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

I love you Lord :)