“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

When things go utterly wrong or just not the way I expect them to go, I will give God thanks because I know that it's an opportunity for me to trust God more, although I must trust Him everyday, but when things go wrong I have to really just remind myself that God knows why things are the way they are or why certain expectations don't get fulfilled.

Sadly today I made a promise based on an expectation that I really thought would be met. Unfortunately, I didn't get the opportunity I was hoping to get. I still know that God is a God of possibilities, so instead of complaining or sulking I say thank you God and I'll see how you will bring me through this stage in my life. I know your Grace is sufficient.

short prayer

I think about the future and I don't really know Lord where to turn or what to think. Refresh me! I want to know you on a deeper level and just learn how to rely on you in everything. Restore your favour! Grant the desires of my heart according to your will in Christ Jesus. 

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars

This week I was watching a video and I noted the inspirational saying if you shoot for the moon, even if you don't get to the moon you'll land among the stars. This saying means so much to me because it speaks about determination and having a mindset to persevere and aim high. There have been times in my life where I set my expectations so low because I just thought I wasn't good enough in comparison to others, but I have always had this determination despite failures to get back up again when life threw its stones at me. This week I have made a decision to shoot for the moon, to always shoot for the moon in everything, even when I feel less qualified because God works in mysterious ways and as I continue to change my mindset to think like a champion that will allow me to live life like a champion. Well, this is my thought for today!

Reflections 2014 -Lies the Enemy Told

Time is the one thing we can waste, but can never get back...once it is gone , it is gone. I am not sure where I am in my faith journey. I pray for a rekindling of love in my life. I want to love God with all my heart, mind and soul so and others unconditionally. There have been some rough times in my walk with the Lord and times where I feel I almost abandoned our relationship because of distractions. God I am asking you to be the center of my life, the middle, the core. I want to know you on a deeper level than ever before. I know I haven't been the best Christian and I have stumbled at times. I came to the point where I was ready just to throw in the towel because I thought every mistake I was making was only proving how bad I was and only bringing you shame. I had difficulty admitting I was wrong or at fault and put on a mask that I didn't make mistakes as a Christian. The more I made mistakes, the more guilty I felt the more I tried to avoid blame and justify my actions to save my goal of a perfect image.

Not only that, but I couldn't keep up with the idea of failing at anything. I was becoming concerned about what others think and not realizing that I couldn't live my life worrying about what others thought about me. Otherwise I would always be trying to live to make others happy, which is impossible, suppressing myself as a unique person and living a miserable life.

I am coming to that realization now and truly understanding that I am unique, and God has designed me with a uniqueness as God has designed everyone else with their own special qualities. In moments of silence and deep reflection I understand I can't make everyone happy and that not everyone will like me or be a friend. I am now realizing that only what God thinks of me should matter and be the final word.

For the majority of my life and as long as I can remember I have lived in fear of something and I haven't really expressed myself as an individual. I think back to my early childhood years in the first and second and maybe third grade where I had the imagination, personality, and belief that I could conquer it all. So what happened?

Over the years I gave into lies and thoughts that I could never be any more than my current situations. My family struggled and although I found a love and passion for the creative arts in the midst of my struggles, I battled with believing I could succeed. Finances were not on my side, I only held onto dreams and visions and missions to do something great in this world. Someday I was going to be writer that would win big and write the best seller book of all time.

Yes! many a times I talked myself out of writing. I compared myself to others too much and kept thinking I was too old to do anything as I aged gracefully. I said I couldn't do it and that I couldn't be like other professionals that had made it big. The thought was partially true: I COULD NOT be them because I COULD only be me.

I can only be the person who God created ME to be. I also heard that what we think and tell ourselves, what we feed our minds is what we begin to believe. It is kind of like the self fulfilling prophecy isn't it? r Well, I had began to believe that I wouldn't surmount to the highest of highs, and that my achievements were only temporary, it could never blossom into anything more.

[BREATHE] A new start for me and I have said this many times before, but now I realize I have nothing to lose and everything to gain for living with a renewed perspective, for being honest with myself about my insecurities, for letting God take control. I can only count a single moment in life where I decided to give God full control, but then took hold of the drivers wheel and tried to steer my life in another direction when the obstacles came.

I have decided not to feed into the lies of I can't and only believe that I can from now on. My favourite scripture is Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me and I believe this wholeheartedly.

Most importantly, I have decided to be honest with who I was, who I am and what I desire to be. I will not be a follower, but I will be that natural born leader that God has created me to be. I have decided to communicate with my Heavenly Father about everything, since He knows it already.

I want my prayer to God to be even stronger than before, than the time I prayed for this mysterious man. I say mysterious because I didn't even know him, but after reading an account on an accident he had  and the pleas from a friend for donations to cover hospital and travel costs after the man had slipped into a coma. I prayed that night...Remember Lord? It was the first time I felt a sense of real power. I can't put it into words, but I was telling God to wake him up and believing that God was right there hearing my prayer, like I was talking to a friend in person.

I was happy to hear the man had later woke up and came  out of his coma and I was encouraged knowing that prayers had been answered. I was determined to pray my way through everything from then on. Lord, I want to go beyond and deeper in living by faith, until that day my faith literally becomes sight.

Lord, help me to use the gifts and passions you have blessed me with, not only me but for everyone to realize that God has created them uniquely. May my writing serve to glorify your name, to encourage the discouraged, to bring people out of depression, to touch hearts, to melt hearts, to inspire and motivate, to do everything possible and most importantly to show people that there is a God that loves them and wants a relationship with them. I will not give into any lies of the past, present or the lies that I may rear their ugly heads in the future. I will not tell myself lies or feel guilty by lies the enemy told. I will live from this day forth and from now on in the re newness of mind and see each day as if it is were my last and live each day as if it were my last so that I can begin to live for what really matters: YOU. Amen!

reflection

I'll have to step back and think! I'll have to take a step back and pray! I urgently need wisdom from God. I don't like living anxiously, but in everything I am reminded that I should give thanks and be in prayer. This is life Lord and I can't just let it pass by without doing what really matters or doing any work for the kingdom. The past few days have got me seriously thinking about opportunities around the world to serve an to use the gifts that you have blessed me with.

I reflect on almost a year ago when the only thing that mattered was pleasing you, I was on a purging diet from worrying about all the cares of this world. I reckoned that if I could just draw closer to YOU Lord, I could be spiritually strong.

It feels like I'm desperately failing these string of tests and temptations to be a good steward with what you have given me, to love like you do  and to give. I am all over the place right now Lord and I need direction and most of all guidance and wisdom in every decision made.

Forgive me for selfish living and not always considering others above myself. Forgive me for not trusting you fully to deliver me from difficult situations and for anxious thinking and living. There's so much Lord, but you know it all and I am trusting you to help me focus on the kingdom and storing treasures on Heaven than on earth.

Francais

The following may not be the best translation....hey! It may not even come close since I still need to work on my grammar, but I will do my best. Also please excuse my missing grammar marks as I do not have my keyboard set on french.

J'ai demande a Dieu s'il etait heureux avec son peuple, quand nous commencons a crier et lui donner la grace,especialement durant les temps de besoin. C'est comme nous avons fait du bruit dans les oreilles et rien d'autre. C'est comme nous n'avons prendre au Dieu serieux dans nos vies et seulement t'a appelle quand il y a un probleme ou concerne.

Est-ce qu'on vraiment savoir le travaille de Dieu?

Durant les semaines prochaines je vais etre pensee de ma vie (je vais reflechir a ma vie) et mon relation personnel avec Dieu. Je vais ecrire un plan d'intervention (je ne put pas trouver un autre mot pour ce qui je veux dire) Mais essentialement c'est mon desir de se rapprocher de Dieu. Merci et parlez avec vous bientot!

Start back at one

It has been awhile since I've posted. I've been quite busy with work and there have been some storms. I have learned that taking my eyes off God and resting it on my problem can literally suck the life out of you. It is only a matter of time before you become weak and running back to the source of life. I went to church for the first time in a few weeks. I had been so consumed with work and doing a good job that I had invested days and nights into doing my best to prepare for my learners. The demand coupled with commuting for long hours proved to be too much for me and within the first two months, I threw in the towel and found myself physically tired, energy drained and saying "now what?" With no backup plan here I am again crawling back to Jesus. literally baby steps. A man once said if you don't learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it. I question this cycle of losing focus and wanting to do things in my own strength. I reminisce on my faith journey and those days where nothing else mattered just to be close to God and to follow after his heartbeat and now I am stuck in thinking about what I can get out of life, a somewhat selfish mentality. Lord bring me back to your heartbeat and strip all selfishness from my hands. I have so much to think about and pray about. I want to use those gifts which you have given me and I want my goals to be pleasing to you. Give me wisdom and restore my sense of worth and confidence by looking at this world and life through your eyes/perspective. Teach me!