Merry Christmas...new resolutions for my relationship with you

I have to keep pressing on. I thank you Lord that even in my moments of distress and need you remind me that i have to push on and remain alert. I have to remain and continue in loving you and serving you no matter how bad I feel at times for failing you, for choosing desires and letting my selfishness override at times. I rely on your love and that's what keeps me going. How many times I've slipped away only to run back to you and you are still there. God forgive me! Forgive me living only for myself. God, if you spare my life to see a new year, I continue to hear from the testimonies of those that have already walked my road and who are much older and wiser now. They have also walked with you for many years and the advice I continue to hear is if you could live life all over again and do it all over again, that they would "pray more" and spend more time "reading your word!" 

God, how many times I have set so many goals for my relationship with you only to get caught up with distractions and swayed back and forth because my foundation was not stern. Your word Lord, teach me to value it, read it and love it because i need to live by it. 

I will meditate on it day and night and be renewed.

Give me wisdom, more than learning to fear You. Give me discernment, teach me these things Lord so that my will may be in line with your will and so that when I pray according to your will it will not be according to my own pleasures, but it will be for the things you desire. 

I have so much potential Lord, focus me. 

I have been praying for this young man and the flesh part of me says there is no way this person can change they are too deep in their thoughts and lifestyle, but Lord forgive me...who am I to say who can or who cannot change? Who am I to even doubt the power of prayer? Lord, Change him and use him for your glory. May he experience you. May I experience you more and more. May you bring understanding of your word to him about salvation and to all the others in my particular program. I want them to know that there is a living hope. Show me how to rely on the Holy Spirit so that I may only be satisfied in you. Those who are thirsty or hungry, let them come and taste and see that you Oh Lord, you are good and your mercy and love endures forever and ever. 

I have a few assignments and tasks coming up, Lord I pray that you take control. Spirit move as I write, as I sing, the words you would like people to hear, impress them on my heart. 

I pray for a decision to join a music group for a performance, although the songs are songs of praise the group is a combined group, not really all believers and although I want to encourage unity Lord, I need to be different, and i don`t show I am different when I join a group to show I can be unified, it is not a one time thing, but an everyday thing. I rather use these times to find a quiet place and spend time with you Lord. I just want to love you more, more and more. I want to go deeper in my relationship with you. I heard someone say something about my actions in public is just a surface view of what I do in public. Loving others and not ignoring them despite arguments, loving others because I am reminded how much times I have failed you and you still forgive and love me, loving others because I no longer live for myself is what I desire to do. 

God, help my communication skills too.