Thank you God

Thank you that you have begun to speak to me, or maybe I just started to actually listen and get rid of the distractions that have been taking my attention off of you. You have been teaching me more about what your love looks like, forgiveness and helping others grow closer to you and love you. I am sorry for the times I held a grudge and for the pride I held on and for the times I failed to forgive others. I forgive them now and I thank you that it is through your power alone that I can forgive. God you are so good to me. I thank you for revealing to me even more clearer than ever that in this life we are fighting a spiritual battle, which can only be fought with spiritual devices (prayer,etc). I am so thankful that you have marked this in my mind. I am so sorry for trying to rely on my own efforts and my flesh and blood to fight a spiritual battle. The souls of people are at stake and if they die without knowing your Son Jesus and accepting Him and the fact that He died for our sins so that we have might forgiveness, then they will rely on their own goodness to be reconciled with You, but that's not enough. I have purposed to not listen to any of the lies that I have believed so long, the thoughts that question my ability to lead people to Jesus or to plant in a seed in their life. I am so determined now whenever I have a thought that discourages me from sharing the Gospel to rebuke that idea, understanding that I do not fight against flesh and blood, but against Spirit. I am ready to live totally for you and work for you everyday until I take my final breath. Thank you!!!

Dear God I want to hear from you

God, I want to hear from you. Why aren't you speaking? Speak for your servant listens. I learned this week that I can't begin to love others truly the way You love me until I know what it means to be deeply in love with You. I love you, but I know that I have put other things before you in the past. Please forgive me. Change my heart attitude, 24 hours I want to desperately be seeking after you, in my thoughts, words, actions. I love you, but I want to know what it means to give everything up and to rely only on you, to be madly in love with you. I know that in order to do this I must first ask you for forgiveness for living in my own strength and trying to do things in my own strength, especially love others. I need to put off any things that are not of you: selfish attitudes, self righteousness and see myself just as a sinner, my true nature, a sinner saved by grace. Thank you God. I know you have good things in store for those who love you and I want every second to be a working minute for me, towards your kingdom. I thank you that you are helping me reveal more about myself and to feel comfortable with myself just as I am, comfortable with the fact that you love me and that's enough. I want to love others who know no love. Destroy any judgmental thoughts and attitudes as soon as they try to take place in my heart or mind. It is not of you...only love. This week I will practice

My last breath

It has been awhile. However, I just noticed that every time I come to blog I appear to be in a solemn mood, a bit uncertain of a situation. I have been thinking lately about my relationship with God. I know that I want to be fully in love with You to the point where I can't get you off of my mind even if I try. I promise I just want to put you first in everything and I won't get sidetracked any longer. For my life is but a vapor a breath and before my last breath passes I want to glorify and honor you in everything I do. I love you.

Forgiveness and Love for others (brothers and sisters in Christ)

It is difficult to understand sometimes why people act the way they do. Before I use to look up articles to even see if I could understand what such behavior meant, but now I give up. Lord, I put it all in your hands. I don't want to be a hindrance to anyone or a stumbling block especially to my brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord you have been showing me that I need to check my motives and make sure that my desires are according to your will and that is what I have been trying to do. I am examining myself and renewing my mind with your word. Forgive me treating others the way they treated me. It is no excuse, but I found it difficult to address this particular individual regarding their behavior and assumptions, so I just tried to ignore the situation and avoid talking with the individual in general. God however calls us to love one another as Christ has loved us and if we have a problem to go and speak with that brother or sister in Christ in person. Your word says to confess our sins to one another. I am sorry God that I have failed to do this. Please give me the strength and wisdom to deal with this situation. I thank you for changing my focus and attention to be placed on You, and I live to make you happy and to glorify You so please help me to do what is right in your eyes and not mine. I love you :)

Love like you love

I have a desire to learn more about Your love Jesus. I want to know what it means to love like you love, although this will be most difficult especially in the world today. I want to know what love feels like without boundaries, loving and fervently praying for those who hurt me. Loving with forgiveness. Loving those that are most vulnerable and the outcast of society. I desire to love like you do. I don't want to love for love in return or for mere convenience and the benefits or satisfaction of receiving love in return.

God You are greater than all our problems and the love that You showed by sending your only Son to die for sinners demonstrates the essence of love. Loving me despite my faults and failures or the endless wrongs that I have committed against you.

I rely only on You, but I know that You will bring special people into my life, who I must look after, special sheep, people that are hurting or longing for care and I want to do my best to witness to them not just in word, but deeds.

Please help me with the desires that have been placed on my heart. Help me to win the endless battles in my mind. I am more than a conqueror and I constantly want to be focusing on how to glorify your name, share the Gospel and serve the emotional needs of others. Thank you for the sheep and Shepphards that You have brought in my life and will bring in my life. Help me to love as You love me and not for convenience. This is my desire.

Dear God....From Selfish Ambitions to Humility and Selflessness

These past weeks I have been examining myself. You are showing me that I still have behaviors and habits that I need to work on. Looking at my life I see that I am trying to serve you, but still relying sometimes on my efforts. Sometimes I see traces of selfishness continuously emerging in my thought life and turning into action. Sometimes I see traces of stubbornness in me arising and constant justification of my actions even when I know that I should admit my failures. I am bringing these behaviors to You and I ask that You help me to change. I know that the longer a person conforms to their pattern of thinking and destructive behaviors, the harder it is to change them. A missionary cannot be selfish or proud or show partiality. Help me to get rid of even any little traces of such behavior.

I have something else on my heart and mind. I am looking for direction in life. Where do you want me next? I sense now that I may need to work on these behaviors first before You will move me to where it is You want me to be. I apologize that my Quiet Time with You has not been solely focused on You. I just let distractions get in the way...Right now it seems as if there are so many opportunities and open doors. Jesus please close those doors that You do not want me to walk through, but those that you do desire me to go through then please keep them open and order my steps.

You put a desire in my heart...I think it was You or I hope is not my selfish ambitions arising in me. Recently, I found an ongoing passion to learn languages. Thinking from a business perspective...I thought about the potential business and employment opportunities that are granted to people who speak several languages. However, thinking from Your perspective Lord, I thought to myself maybe You want to use these languages for my missionary work in sharing the news of Your love and the message of the Gospel with others. Is this what You want? Lord, please speak to my heart about this because I have just been getting to excited about all this language and learning and my passion for learning one language has quickly risen to about 6. Please help me to remain realistic and help me to not place these new passions above our relationship. I don't want to glorify all these new passions and interests, only You. However, if it is Your desire for me to learn 6 and even more then provide me the wisdom and understanding and continued dedication to learn and use these languages faithfully and for no other purpose than sharing the Gospel with others, drawing people closer and into a relationship with You and serving the emotional needs of others.

It seems as if a year ago was just yesterday. Time flies doesn't it? I have one more concern on my heart. There is so much violence in the world and although I am not surprised because the Bible talks about all these things, I am overwhelmed. It hurts to watch the news and hear the news of senseless murders and deaths. I wonder if that person knew You. I think immediately "the deceased" as the news anchors refers to the victim, is really someone, a living soul who is now standing before You and giving an account for their life. Father, but yet I feel like a nominal Christian...strengthen me again. Help me as I renew my mind and constantly shape and humble me. I want to see that in everything I do, say and in all of my actions that I diligently serve You and not fail to share the Gospel with others. Father please help me to take care of the fatherless. The fatherless I consider as anyone who is hurting and You know father many people are hurting. I think that the celebrities hurt sometimes the most. Some people have so much money, mansions, private jets and all the riches that one may hope for, but inside they are so empty. Help me to live only for You and always for You. I desire to see You face to face one day, until then help me to live by faith in a hopeless world. I love You and my one desire is to serve You and to do so faithfully.

I need you more

Dear: God,

I need to know that You are with me. I sometimes feel so confused and although I pray, it is confusing when the silence is louder than the noise. Why are you silent? Is it that I am not praying sincerely? Lord, I don't want to ask for my own benefit, but I just want to fulfill the desires of Your heart. Please make my desires in line with your desires. Please remind me that this life is temporal and only what I do for you will last. I love You and I trust You, bur I noticed that even for a moment when I focus on the worries of this world and lose my focus on You even but for a moment, my mind wanders and I end up concentrating on the wrong things. You know my prayer now and Jesus I know that You will answer and that sometimes You answer with a no. When I am tempted to be selfish or to think about myself help me to do something radical that demonstrates a dedication and a commitment to renewing my mind and seeking after YOU. I want to love and put others first over my self seeking ways and my own benefits. I need to renew my mind daily and Jesus, I will do this. I just want to make YOU happy and no matter where you bring me Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world for YOU and other times I just feel defeated, like I should be further along in life when I compare myself to others. I will not compare myself to others Jesus, but whenever I am tempted to do so, I am resolved to think about eternity and the souls of the lost. I am resolved to think of new ways to share the Gospel with others and to bring hope and serve the emotional needs of the hurting. I love you Jesus, I am going to get some rest now.