Dear Jesus

It is never easy starting over. It doesn't matter who you are or what you are starting over on. I can remember a time when as a student I made the silly mistake of not saving changes to an essay, and the thought of starting over was enough discouragement for me. I have been trying to hear your voice, but I haven't been seeking you earnestly. I am discouraged, but I will never give up running the race and pushing towards that which you have called me too. Even if it means returning to the starting line and starting over that is what I am committed to do. I am sorry that I have taken a few things for granted and that I have compromised my alone time with you to oversee other tasks. I am committed to you. I always need to remind myself that I can't do things in my own strength, but with you I am more than a conqueror.

I am starting over and I am encouraged that I am not alone. Starting over will not be easy, but I find confidence in God and knowing that with Him I am more than a conqueror.

For the past few months, I have been doubting others and making assumptions about people's intentions. Opportunities for me to help people turned into me thinking and questioning others sincerity, and whether some people just wanted to take advantage of my generosity. I noticed these assumptions came from a bad experience I had with another individual I had trusted. I had not quite forgiven this person, but as of today I let it go. Jesus, if I should have temptations to revisit this past experience or should I be tempted to have wrongful thinking or want to make assumptions or even talk about the individual in the past who had let me down, please I need you to give me a scripture on which I can medidate. From today I entrust my thought life to you, I will not dwell on the past mistakes of others, I will examine myself. Please help me to admit my own mistakes and wrong doings and to take everything to you in prayer rather than making hasty decisions. Help me to no longer be complacent or lazy concerning the things of God.

Dear Jesus

I am so guilty. Guilty of selfishness, guilty of taking things for granted and worse of all  guilty of not counting my blessings and not always giving thanks. It was difficult to realize these patterns in my life especially when I was concerned about meeting my needs. I didn't think about others as I once use too. You showed me that I can't change by myself I can't carry my own burdens and change my thoughts or path in life, I need YOU.

Jesus sometimes I look at the faults of others instead of focusing on myself. Sometimes I make excuses because I don't want to feel like I failed or I am not as knowledgeable in a certain area of my life. I don't want to admit the failures because if I do I won't feel as worthy. This has been holding me back in a meaningful relationship with you. If I can't admit and swallow failures in my everyday relationships with others then how can I expect to confess my wrong doings against you sincerely. I know I am not perfect, there is none righteous but YOU.

I need YOU. I want YOU to take full control of my life with no conditions attached. Use me as you please, put your desires in my heart and make my hopes your hope. I want YOU to shine through me. I want your beauty. This is my desire.

Dear Jesus

I have a friend who is going through a tough time in her life. I can't see her heart or feel her emotions, but I know that everything that I have gone through, although I didn't understand it then, YOU were working in my life for a specific purpose. In her life, I know YOU do the same. Sometimes it is so hard to think this way when we are in the midst of a battle, but I have come to learn that peace comes only from the confidence and trust I put in you.

Dear Jesus

It has been a few days since I wrote. I confess that this week I lost focus on my service. I spent most of my time just resting and thinking. This week I thought about different issues related to communication and the building of trusting relationships with others. I am still seeking answers and I pray that I seek and find direction from YOU and none other.

Dear Jesus

Please strengthen me and remind me that I can do all things through your strength. I set a new goal to work on for myself and I know that as I pray about it and rely on your word to show me just how that I can achieve this goal. My goal is to not leave anything unfinished. You know there is a saying to finish what you start and another saying that compliments it well: to do things properly. There have been many situations in my life where I failed to things properly or I just aimed for satisfaction, but Lord I know that I need to make sure I do things right in each area of my life, especially when I am seeking to serve you. I want to offer 150% every time. Please remind me that even when I am performing at work, school or other places in my life in which I serve others that it is also an opportunity not to only serve others but to serve you. Please give me more wisdom and enhance my faith and determination to serve you and others better. Help me not to focus to hard on what others think of me, or to constantly compare myself to others too much. I find that if I do so I tend to lose my focus and sometimes not finish what I start because I think I may not perform as well. I thank you that you are always there to listen to me and to speak to me through your word (the bible). I find much encouragement in reading about how many found strength in you and pressed onward despite the persecutions life threw at them. I love you too much for words to describe. Keep me grounded and firm in my faith, always learning and growing more mature as a believe in you and most importantly, always desiring and pursuing after you.

Dear Jesus

I went to the morning church service today and the pastor shared a message on obedience.   The message spoke to me. I have been disobedient, and many times I know I have done things my way. I am listening to a radio broadcast now and the pastor is saying the same message that I heard this morning. I watched the video of Jeremiah yesterday and I was reading a book on the train today both pointing to the same message. The main message I get from this morning's service, the radio broadcast and the book is that I need repentance.

"The saving faith includes calling people to repentance. It is inherent in believing and believing is inherent in repentance. Repentance is turning from sin towards God."

I need to be humbled and I repent. Many times I came to YOU for awhile and then turned back to my own foolish ways of thinking and doing what worked best for me. Was I really repentant? Was I really sorry or just overcome by emotions?

I get it now. So clearly. YOU died for my sins. My sins put YOU on the cross. Without YOU there is no grace or mercy. Without YOU I and the rest of humanity would have got what we deserve: the wrath of God, but because of YOU, I have hope and something to live for: YOU.
I just want to live for YOU. I just want to share the hope that YOU give me with others, to reassure them there really is more to life than getting caught up with living for the world, most importantly the decision they make in this life will affect their eternity.

Forgive me for the pride I showed, for not forgiving others, for turning my back on you countless times. Sorry for the lies, selfishness, all the violations I commited against YOU, I forsake all these now and fully turn and devote my life to YOU. Yes, it is amazing how YOU can reason with a sinner and though my sins are as scarlet, YOU offer to make them as  white as snow. I thank you that YOU hear me and forgive my sins. I am ready for this new life. I can't do anything on my own, God YOU even grant the gift of repentance. YOU brought this realization. YOU opened my eyes and my heart.

The radio broadcast that I am listening too shared the following truths with me:

The three elements of repentance:
Turning to God
Turning from evil
Turning to serve God


There are 2 types of people:
People who pretend to be obedient but are rebels in their heart
People who begin as rebels but repent

There is no salvation apart from repentance.

Jesus, I wholly devote my life to YOU. Your desire is my desire and your will is my will. Life would be miserable without YOU.

Dear Jesus

Today was a busy day for me I had to run a few errands, meet up with a friend who will be travelling back home soon, and I also had to pay some bills. My plans for the day were somewhat distrupted by the few tasks that I had to take care of today, but I am happy that I was able to stick to one of my habit goals: to follow through on my word and meet up with my friend. I had to wake up quite early in the morning and although my body really did not feel like it, I kept thinking "follow through"

I just woke up from a three hour late evening nap. I think it was from all that walking around  in the morning. In my sleep I wrestled with thoughts of YOU. Actually the words I kept thinking is I want to love YOU more...I want to be lost in your love and not find my way back home from here...Your love excites me, your love confuses me. I thought maybe I can revise these words and use them for a song. I am not sure.

I know for sure that I haven`t been living up to the full potential that you perhaps have called me too. I am determined to change, but determination means nothing if there is no change. I am going to try harder, but one of the lessons you have taught me is that I can`t do anything in my own strength. I need you in everything. My prayer is that you give me the strength and desire to follow through not only with everyday commitments in this life, but my biggest commitment to serve YOU. I just want to take all the determination in me and put it into action. I want to stay focused and not lose sight of why I live and my life`s purpose: to glorify YOU. The scripture says that the chief end of man is to glorify YOU and to enjoy YOU forever. David even said I was happy when they said to me let us go into the house of the Lord. I want YOU to be the first thing I think about it in the morning, the last thing I think about in the night, everything I think about during the day. I want my wants to be my only desire that I live for.