Dear Jesus

My heart feels empty. My heart has not been seeking you in awhile. Instead I have been devoting my time into useless activities (shopping mostly). I haven't been spending time with you and it shows. I feel your absence from me in these past few weeks and I think if you came today you would not be happy with me one bit. My feelings I can't explain...always searching and wanting and getting, but not being satisfied. Jesus, is this what it feels like to be away from you for a few weeks? If so, I don't want to imagine an eternity without your presence at all. Oh, it is so bad when I think about myself and not others. I have been greedy, thinking that now is my time to enjoy all the things that I never had a chance to enjoy as a kid. Selfish me and selfish thinking. I promise Jesus to love you with all my heart and to live to make you happy. Help me to help others, grandma, mom and dad...you know all Jesus and wherever I can help I pray that you use me to help. Help me to be more serious concerning your work and to trust your will and to daily seek you.

I noticed that I don't trust others because I fear the worst, but why? The only one I need to fear is you. Jesus, I keep saying I want to know you better but it seems like it is all talk...what am I doing to know you better? How am I witnessing to others? I am tired of just talk and no action. Please just change my heart Jesus. I know you will be coming back soon and I dont want to serve you merely becasue of fear for living in eternity without you, but for fear and reverence of loving you and what you did for me.

I felt so ashamed that I didn't even remember the coming Easter weekend. I need to be more knowledgeable in the things concerning You. I need to study to show myself approved unto you, so then I am not ashamed and I can distinguish truth. Your word is truth. Jesus help my unbelief, Jesus keep me focus, Jesus help me to share my testimony and to trust you more and more. I want to totally rely on you and not money or the things of this world. They are temporary. Everyone, poor or rich, famous or not will one day leave this earth and enter an eternity where we will have to give an account to you. Remind me of this each day please. One thing we all can't cheat or buy our way out of is death. Everyone is equal in death. I love you Jesus and I want to show it, I will show it. Guide my steps, direct my path and help me to remember and be thankful of your blessings each day I wake up with my breath and the life in my body.